The Feeling of Being
Sit quietly and meditate on the feeling of being. You most certainly exist. You might question what you are, but that you exist there can be no doubt. So sit there and ponder on this fact that you exist. Do you need to think to exist? No! Do you need to be awake to exist? No! Do you need to be aware of anything to exist? No! Therefore, gradually, let go of everything so that all that’s left is the feeling of existing, the feeling of being. Become indifferent to everything; lose interest in everything during the meditation apart from that most basic feeling of simply existing. Not existing as something but simply being. Think - “do I need this to exist?” if the answer is no then let it go. Gradually, silently and without words or thought feel what it is to simply be. Relax your attention from everything and let your attention return to its source so that no attention is given to anything, so there is no awareness of any “thing”. Then you simply rest in your being, as you are. The feeling of being is always there, before it becomes modified and diminished into lesser feelings such as we experience in everyday life – excitement, disappointment, satisfaction, frustration, lust, revulsion, certainty, doubt, interest, boredom, energetic, lazy, fear, anticipation, joy, sorrow, tenderness, anger – I could go on, but I think you get the idea. That most basic feeling, before any other feeling, is the feeling of being. Relax your attention so that all you are aware of is this feeling of being. You will then realise that you are abiding at the very source of yourself, the point of origin of your existence.
Another way to approach this is to ask, “Who am I?” To begin with you might answer this intellectually, but eventually, with practice, you can feel the answer. So initially think about the question, then move on to feeling the answer and finally be the answer. This question will lead you to the sense of “I am” that we all have. Not “I am this” or “I am that” but just “I am” without qualification. If we then feel beyond this we can let go of the feeling of “I” and feel the mere “am-ness” behind the “I am”. At that point any sense of separate identity vanishes and you are present as the feeling of being.
You may find yourself overcome in a swoon of bliss and light. This light is the light by which all objects and all lesser lights are known. It is the light of awareness through which the body and bodily feelings are known. It is the light of awareness through which the mind and all thought is known.
Lets now look at things from the perspective of the feeling of being and how it connects to the human body and mind. There you are, there is the sense of existing and as such you know nothing that is not “you”. Attention rises out of the feeling of being and feels itself as awareness in the heart region of the body. This coincides with the primary feeling centre of the body. From the heart, attention rises up to the head where it becomes aware of the experiences of the brain and mind. It experiences the great centre of input from the nervous system, the senses of the body and the content of the mind. From the information from the senses a sense is formed of the body and the “outside” world. From the mind an awareness of the “inside” world of dreams, mystical visions, intuition and psychic senses are made available. From the brain, attention can move down into the body to become aware of life energy, emotions and the other various energy centres in the body such as the sexual centre, power centre and the will centre. It is mostly the verbal, thinking mind or these energy centres that we identify with during our waking hours, without any sense of our true, happy, blissful and loving identity that lies behind them.